Several years ago I was happily dating a boy who was of another Christian denomination. We were happy and in love and things were going just dandy - until one day he pulled out of no where that he wanted to dump me because I wasn't the "right" kind of Christian for him. I'm guilty also of pulling that card when deciding who to date, but his reasoning for his conclusion was really harsh. One of his main points was pulled from Matthew 5:28 where it reads:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
He explained to me that by dating me he was committing adultery because he felt strong feelings of attraction for me. This communication resulted in two results: making an innocent girl unjustly feel like a harlot; and making said innocent girl actually look into what this scripture actually meant.
I knew that every adolescent who had hormones was not condemned. I also knew that the Prophet of our church encouraged dating, so having feelings of attraction for another is ok. But if all that was true, what did Christ really mean when he said this?
16 And verily I say unto you, as I have said before, he that looketh on a woman to lust after her, or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they shall not have the Spirit, but shall deny the faith and shall fear.
Christ wasn't talking about a natural feeling of attraction for someone else, he was talking about pre-medidating thoughts about sexual activity. In other words, Christ was condemning pornography. He was condemning putting your mind places where the Spirit can't reside, in cutting yourself off from God by making yourself inwardly in-pure.
I once heard a story of a missionary who was being harassed by some less than savory guys about how this missionary abstained from sexual activity. When they concluded that he must not have a problem with it because he didn't have the ability to have those feelings, he responded, "I have them just the same as anyone. I'm just stronger than the feelings and can control them."
In Alma 39:5, a loving father/prophet is counseling his son after this son had sexually sinned. He emphasized the seriousness of this act by saying:
5 Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?
There are two parts of our Earthly existence that God has claimed the right of controlling, those are when his children come to Earth and when they leave. He has given us the privilege of having the ability to joint create life with him, and he will not have that privilege mocked. This is why Chastity is so constantly drilled into us. In terms of adultery, when you commit it you are not only breaking a convenient with God and mocking the gift of marriage he has given us, you also break a covenant with another person and mock them. It is probably one of the most selfish sins we could possibly commit in this life.
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