Alive

It is a brand new year and the lessons in church today were all about setting goals! Some that you can put a timeline on, and some that are there to work on everyday. When I think of this project, it is definitely one of those that does not have a time line - as the end of it is so far away I cannot even imagine what it will be like to finish, but I can make a goal to write more.

A critic once said that the Bible is so popular not just for the good things it teaches, but also for the story. There is a man who does so many good things, is wrongfully killed in a dramatic way, and then miraculously comes back to life! A little more serious than this man might have been in making his remark, I would like to say that this is the good news of Christ - that we might become alive again through him.

The triumph of Christ's conquering death is declared by witnesses in Luke 24:23 which says:

23 And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive.

Later he shows himself until his apostles, unto several others and to the believers in the Americas. All bear witness that he was killed and yet was alive again in a perfected body in all his Glory. Because he conquered death, we can know that death is only temporary for us as well.

The other way that Christ brings us to life is found in 1 Corinthians 15:22:

22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

While the first definition of being "made alive" is more literal with our physical bodies, this other definition for how Christ brings us to life has to do with spiritual death.

There is a reality of death inside of each of us that we have all felt at one time or another. It is when we sin, or when sorrow sets in or depression. When we can feel something go out inside us or turn hard as stone only to crack and fall apart. These dark feelings are the death of soul that this fallen world brings upon us - either through our own actions, the actions of others or simply our Earthly condition. Just like it is necessary for all of us to die physically so that we might be brought back to life in a perfected form, it is necessary for us to die inwardly so Christ can bring us back to life more perfected then before.

This process makes sense when I write these words, but living it is another story. It is easy to be confident when looking back at a trial I've managed to get through and can now say "Oh it wasn't that bad, Christ was there the whole time. I just needed to hang in there."

Living what you know to be true when your heart just doesn't feel it is hard. At times my belief is so obvious, like feeling the sun on my skin it is a reality that changes how I feel about everything. Then there are times when my heart does not feel it - like I've been walking in a room that suddenly had all the lights go out. I cannot see the light or the furniture and I have no proof within myself other than the memories. It is then that my belief becomes a decision between what I am currently seeing and what I know is real from my past experiences.

These feelings of being dead inside are always temporary. Life comes through Christ - it always has been that way and it always will. If you do not believe me, try developing a real relationship with him. You will see how dead your life was before and will never be able to turn back without regret.

Alienate

Topics without scriptures: Agrippa; Ahab; Ahaz; Ahungered; Alcohol; Alexander; Alexandria.

In my life I have known some aliens. At one point half of the people in my group of friends were aliens. They were friendly and kind of different at times, but over all we got along great.

I am not talking about small green men from Mars, I am talking about people who were born outside of the U.S. and then came here. They had adopted the language and customs, but all of them seemed to hold onto this aspect of themselves that made them different as well. Strangely enough, two of the best friends in my life have been aliens.

I was ten years old and a family had just moved into our Church from Japan. They had a daughter my age and I decided to be friendly and bounded over to her to talk about this and that. She was quite and I thought really shy, so I tried harder to be friendly. I took her to all the classes that day and introduced her to everyone. Later I found out that this girl did not know any english and thought I must have been some crazy girl, but in a good sort of way.

Even though I was there, I wonder sometimes what it must have been like for her and my other immigrant friends. How they might have felt being surrounded by an language they did not know and customs that were not second nature. To have moments of triumph only to be thrown back into obscurity with the principle feeling in their hearts being that they do not belong.

In Ephesians 4:18 it says:

18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:

Though being alienated from those around you can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, being alienated from the life that God wants for you can be excruciating. It is painful to look in the mirror and see someone who you have no love for, but it can be heartbreaking to see someone that cannot feel God's loves. Not that God does not love you, but by turning away from him you are in a sense shielding yourself from that love.

Only a softening of heart and a conscious willingness to turn back to him can end the alienation. Some people say that Christ found them, but I say that what matters is what you do with Christ after he found you. In Colossians 1:21-22 it says what can happen if you choose to let Christ into your life:

21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled

22 In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

I am not saying that you will never have feelings of being alone, of feeling separated from God or that maybe you just do not fit into this whole religion thing, but instead of feeling like an outsider looking in you will instead feel like someone who does live in the "life of God" who is just having problems. Problems that will come and go, but not ones that will cast you out unless you choose to let them.

Agree

This is another topic that has interesting and less obvious scriptures that cover a range of concepts. The idea behind "agree" is pretty much the same in all the scriptures, that two or more people or ideas are aligned, but how this concept is used is where the diversity comes from.

For example, in Matthew 5:25 the Savior is using "agree" to give a practical commandment that also has spiritual implications:

25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Following this command can not only keep us out of trouble, but it also helps us develop peacemaker characteristics.

Even though most of the verses seemed not to have a theme, I noticed that two of them had to do with standing as a witness. Mark 14:56 speaks of people trying to prove something that was false but their witnesses did not agree. In the end their argument was thrown out. Why I believe this is interesting is because of the contrast it shows to 1 John 5:8:

8 And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.

There is truth out there and one way to recognize it is to see if the arguments or parts agree with each. I have heard some people say that when they found the LDS church it was like they had pieces of a puzzle that finally fell into place - they finally agreed with each other. That is how I feel about the gospel as well. There are parts of it that do not make the most sense to me but the parts that I do understand do not contradict each other. In all the chaos that life seems to give us, I find comfort in knowing that there is order and strength in the gospel.

Agony

Topics without scriptures: Agnosticism.

This past weekend I had an interesting experience. While pinning a curtain I somehow stabbed a nerve in my thumb. Instead of bleeding there was hardly a pin mark, but the results were excruciating. At first I could not move my thumb from the intense pain, and then my fingers, hand and finally my arm up to my shoulder. Not knowing what happened, the panic only added to the severity of the event. I have not cried that hard in years and for a good minute I was on the verge of passing out. The pain eventually numbed and then drew back and now two days latter there is only a faint memory of the event in my thumb.

Why I tell this story is because I would say that I was in agony. Tears were falling and falling into unconsciousness looked very good to me. When I read this verse in Luke 22:44 the memory of the pain came back to me and wondered how my Savior survived when I was willing to give up enduring the small amount of pain that was afflicted on me. The description of the event is as follows:

44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Footnotes will take you to Mosiah 3:7 and Doctrine and Covenants 19:18:

7And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

18Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

I've heard it said that he had to be born as part immortal so he could survive the agony of the atonement, so that he would not die before it was completed. I'm sure that this is not the only reason, but I cannot imagine what he had to go through. And he did it for us - he did it for me.

While reading through these sections and contemplating Christ's sacrifice, another another human limitation I have was brought to light, a limitation that I believe I can work on but will never be able to overcome in this life - my inability to really understand how Christ could love me that much.

Agency

Announcement!

In poking around the new lds.org I found a documentary on the compiling of the LDS version of the scriptures including the Topical Guide! It is pretty cool and you should defiantly check it out! But just a warning, it is about an hour long.

That Promised Day: The Coming Forth of the LDS Scriptures

__________________________________________

Topics without scriptures: Age; Age of Accountability.

In 7th grade we studied the Middle Ages in our language arts class and as part of that study we read a delightful little booked called "The Midwife's Apprentice." The story is about a poor orphen in the middle ages and how she becomes the apprentice to a midwife. Along the way there are stories of her living in a medevil village and what it was like. At one point in the story, the village people find strange hoof prints in the dirt that they concluded must belong to the Devil and follow the tracks to places where they catch several members of the village who were mean to the orphen girl in the act of commiting various sins. Later on the reader finds out that it was the girl who was making the tracks for the purpose of getting back at those people who were unkind to her.

Though this little encounter is cute to read, what stuck out in my mind all these years was how the village priest pardoned all the people caught claiming "That the Devil made them do it, and who can resist the Devil?"

The Devil made me do it? To me that sounds like a little kids saying "Jimmy next door made me angry, so I broke the lamp!" I am not saying that the Devil isn't a terrible and dangerous enemy in our lives, but God expects us to resist temptation. 2 Nephi 2:27 says this quite clearly:

27 Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

Elder Hales gives further definition to this concept in his great talk this last conference on Agency. In it he states:

"We teach that agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and “to act for [ourselves] and not to be acted upon.” Agency is to act with accountability and responsibility for our actions."

Agency is what makes progression possible. Our ability to choose is the greatest gift God has given us. In Moses 7:32 God is explaining all he had done for his children including giving us our agency or our ability to choose:

32 The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency;

Choice is what makes us able to become like God some day, and the ability to choose good over evil is a divine potential in each of us waiting to be cultivated. Joshua in Joshua 24:15 boldly used his agency to choose God and as we know he along with the house of Israel reaped great rewards for their choice:

15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you thisday whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

The greatest use of agency we know is that of our Savior in the garden as described in Matthew 26:39:

39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.wilt.

We can follow Christ's example in obedience. We can have a bit of Heaven in our own hearts as a result of good choices because even though there may be pain and sorrow we can still have peace in knowing that we chose as God would have chosen.

I would like to conclude this broad topic by saying that agency is integral in the scriptures and in our lives. Read through the scriptures listed, follow the footnotes and you'll understand so many new and wonderful things about who we are and what God really has planned for us. I would like to finish this topic with a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants 101:78 that I believe does a great job summing up agency:

78 That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment.

Against

Topics without scriptures: Agabus.

I once knew a kid in high school who was agnostic claiming that he was having fun sitting on the fence watching the atheists and the religious people duke it out. We all kind of rolled our eyes at him, because in the end he poked fun at the religious people just as much but wanted some sort of title to make himself different and special. There was also recently a TV show where one of the characters who was agnostic had some health problems and started lashing out at the other character's faith with the conclusion that though he did not believe in a "god" he actually had made himself a god in his own sight and could not handle it when his god got sick.

In both these cases the individual believed that they could just sit on the fence and not care, but in the end their actions showed that they believed in one side more than the other. Or as Christ describes them in the words of Luke 11:23:

23 He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.

The image that I was taught as a little kid is that you are on an escalator moving down due to the fallen world we live in and our natural tendencies. As long as you are walking up, you're making progress towards God or at least are staying neutral. Once you stop walking though, stop "caring" or working towards something better, you start going down. The message of this analogy is that you can't sit on the fence. You might not be ready or inclined yet to believe in God or accept his gospel, but if you decided that you're not going to be involved you're just going to be dragged down.

The truth is that we are all involved, if not by our own choice then by the fact that God and Satan are already fighting over our souls. Our heart is a battle ground with daily victories and loses, waiting to be conquered every second by either the imprisonment of the Devil or the liberty of Christ. It is our choice who we'll let win.

Afraid

When I was 12 years old I attended a week long church camp. It was lots of fun and I made friends, but I also gained spiritual insight and strength from the classes and activites they had planned for us. The theme of the camp was "A Season for Courage" based off of President Hinckley's message, specifically the following quote:

"Now, my brethren and sisters, the time has come for us to stand a little taller, to lift our eyes and stretch our minds to a greater comprehension and understanding of the grand millennial mission of this The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is a season to be strong. It is a time to move forward without hesitation, knowing well the meaning, the breadth, and the importance of our mission. It is a time to do what is right regardless of the consequences that might follow. It is a time to be found keeping the commandments. It is a season to reach out with kindness and love to those in distress and to those who are wandering in darkness and pain. It is a time to be considerate and good, decent and courteous toward one another in all of our relationships. In other words, to become more Christlike."

As inspirational as this quote is, there was also a scripture associated with this theme. This scripture was Joshua 1:9 which reads:

9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

This time period was the beginning of what I will call "the development of my adult testimony" and I wanted something I could claim as my own motto for my life. I chose this scripture at that time mostly because it sounded good. I mean, having Christ always be with you? That sounded like a good thing. But I also chose it because of the image it gave me.

The image in my mind was of a stronger, more noble me. One where I wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. After being bullied to the point of homeschool only a few years earlier, I wanted to face the rest of my life being able to stand up for myself.

Later on, once I began challenges worst than name calling, did I understand more fully what this scripture actually meant and became thankful that I had committed it to memory.

Yes the part about becoming brave is good, but I learned later on that that strength comes from the second half of the scripture, the part about Christ always being with you. It is about never walking alone and it is about holding onto hope when you feel nothing but despair. It is about believing that Christ won't let the worst tragedy occur - the letting go into despair - because he is with you.

These scriptures are about NOT being afraid. God gives us scriptures about calamities and horrors not to scare us but to warn us so we can prepare ourselves - and most importantly to try and get into our skulls that when these horrible things come our way we don't have to be afraid of them breaking us as long as we have him.

Before I left high school I had all my favorite teachers sign my yearbook. My physics teacher had always been a friend and mentor as well as a teacher to me. Imagine my surprise and delight when at the end of her statement she signed "don't forget Joshua 1:9." I had never talked to her about my special relationship with that scripture and thought it was appropriate as I closed one part of my life to start another.

I feel now much like I did then. Like I've accomplished something by graduating, getting married and moving to another state, but I also feel the same rocking in my daily life as I try and figure out my direction and goals. I'm comforted by this scripture and the other ones for this topic. As I read them, I can feel peace come into my heart just as it is described in John 14:27:

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Affliction

There is a quote from Brigham Young that basically says that his greatest fear was that the people of the Church would become rich and send themselves right down to hell. He, of course, is talking about the pride that comes along with riches as a rule, but sometimes I have to really wonder if being in such a comfortable position in life is what will really shake my testimony.

I've been on camping trips where it has been cold and wet. I've also been in pain for long amounts of time. I've had friends betray me and I've had my life plans abruptly altered - but I've never lived in poverty. I've never had my house burned down, my father shot, gone weeks living only on bread or any of the other things that characterize living in poverty. I wonder how I would endure it or if I would simply give up.

The gist of these scriptures is that God comforts those who are in affliction. That those who turn to him are strengthened. A good scripture saying this is Alma 26:27:

27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

Maybe being poor makes people turn to God more because you are more familiar with the source of all blessings. For someone like me you could say that blessings come from Target because that is the place where worldly possessions we need and want come from. My husband goes to work but I don't really think of where our money comes from or is going outside of our budget. For someone poor who can't actually live in a budget because their needs outweigh their means they get to see how much life can just be luck and they feel more keenly the results of that luck.

They are closer to the nature of this world and I believe can see something that I can't see because my life is so controlled by the whims of men. A man can decide what clothes are in fashion and the prices, but a man cannot decide if it will rain and poor into my little hut.

If my life was closer to God like it is for people who don't have as much what sort of person would I be? I know I must sound pretentious by making poverty sound like a gateway to enlightenment, but if I learn so much and grow closer to my Savior from seemingly mild afflictions I'm asked to bare then how much more of a saint would I be if I had less?

Afflicted

This topic, much like the last topic, has to do with unfortunate or unpleasant things happening to you. Specifically with being poor and all the things that go along with that. A good example that these two concepts are related is Job 34:28:

28 So that they cause the cry of the poor to come unto him, and he heareth the cry of the afflicted.

Every so often there is a sermon given about giving to the poor and charity in general. The final conclusions always seem to be three fold: give of your means to the church's charity foundation (100% of the collection goes directly to taking care of the poor in the congregation), give of your means to charities that you know are trustworthy, and listen to the Spirit as far as reaching out individually.

Many of us, including myself, have difficulties with the idea of giving handouts of money. For me personally, it is because I don't trust the person and because I'm not in a financial position to give money to every beggar I see. This brings on guilt that I can't be more loving to the individual, though I do try and help out where I can. I keep granola bars in the car and hand those out and I volunteer when I can, but I can't seem to purge from my heart the fear that they will take my handout and use it to buy alcohol or drugs. The last thing I want to do is be an unknown enabler, but at the same time I'm not to judge especially when I don't even know the person.

For those in my situation, I would say listen to the Spirit. There should be a better way to help the poor and address the needs of those who are currently on the streets begging, but for now there is really only our well meant actions and God's command not to neglect those in need.

Afflict

I am familiar with the word "afflict" and have seen it in scriptures like Matthew 24:9:

9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.

To me being afflicted was when something not pleasant would happen - like being stuck in traffic, having a relative get cancer, or someone being mean to you. In reference to this verse, it made sense that bad things would come your way while being a Christian from people who were against Christianity. It felt like the natural order of things even though when it actually would happen I have been guilty of asking "why me?"

What is interesting is the first several verse in the Old Testament that say something more like Numbers 29:7:

7 ¶ And ye shall have on the tenth day of this seventh month an holy convocation; and ye shall afflict your souls: ye shall not do any work therein:

What in the world was this talking about? Does "afflict" mean more than just a forecast of unfortunate things to come?

According to dictionary.com the definition for "afflict" is:

1. to distress with mental or bodily pain; trouble greatly orgrievously

2. Obsolete

a. to overthrow; defeat.

b. to humble.

This definition speaks of humbling yourself - that you are to become teachable. It brings a new light to my previous thought that afflict just means for bad things to happen. Instead, I think this word really means for bad things to happen with a reason. The reason is to humble us so we could then be brought to Christ.

When we are afflicted in our life it isn't just something to be endured, it is something to turn our hearts to our Savior.

Affection

Topics without scriptures: Advocate.

Affection is one of those words that I thought I understood the definition of, but while reading through these verses I decided that I needed to take another look at it. I pulled out two out of the nine definitions found on dictionary.com:

1. fond attachment, devotion, or love.

8. bent or disposition of mind.

With these two definitions I was able to pull out of these scriptures that we're not so much suppose to have strong uncontrollable feelings as much as natural pulls within ourselves. It is a way to assess how we're doing and what areas we need to work on. I personally hate it when people say to me "you should feel this way", but God does it all the time. In the case of scriptures that have to do with "affection" changing how we feel is what it is all about.

For example, in Romans 12: 10 it reads:

10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Or in other words we should be inclined to think of and care about each other. If we aren't inclined towards service or think too much of ourselves, that is a red flag for something we need to work on.

These scriptures also talk about not having "natural affection" which in Romans 1:26-27 is defined at having homosexual relationship. I don't really want to go into this as much as sharing another insight into being without natural affection.

All growing up I thought about my dream guy. He would be smart, good looking, philosophical, and a host of other great qualities. However, I did not put on that list "kind." I did not think it was that important to list, kind of like a given or something we could work towards. Two serious relationships later I found myself emotionally drained and heartbroken. Where did I go wrong? While flipping through my scriptures I found this one on natural affection and realized that it applied to me. I had met some great guys who met almost all my requirements, but they were lacking the affection that should have naturally been there. This is something important to think about for anyone entering a relationship and something to keep in mind if that relationship becomes abusive.

When I wake up in the morning I am inclined or "bent" to stay in bed and sleep all day. But I am also "bent" towards frying an egg for my husband because I know he likes them. In some areas I'm doing better than others and figuring out where my affections are directed is a good places to start in seeing how aligned I am to God's will.