Alive

It is a brand new year and the lessons in church today were all about setting goals! Some that you can put a timeline on, and some that are there to work on everyday. When I think of this project, it is definitely one of those that does not have a time line - as the end of it is so far away I cannot even imagine what it will be like to finish, but I can make a goal to write more.

A critic once said that the Bible is so popular not just for the good things it teaches, but also for the story. There is a man who does so many good things, is wrongfully killed in a dramatic way, and then miraculously comes back to life! A little more serious than this man might have been in making his remark, I would like to say that this is the good news of Christ - that we might become alive again through him.

The triumph of Christ's conquering death is declared by witnesses in Luke 24:23 which says:

23 And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive.

Later he shows himself until his apostles, unto several others and to the believers in the Americas. All bear witness that he was killed and yet was alive again in a perfected body in all his Glory. Because he conquered death, we can know that death is only temporary for us as well.

The other way that Christ brings us to life is found in 1 Corinthians 15:22:

22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

While the first definition of being "made alive" is more literal with our physical bodies, this other definition for how Christ brings us to life has to do with spiritual death.

There is a reality of death inside of each of us that we have all felt at one time or another. It is when we sin, or when sorrow sets in or depression. When we can feel something go out inside us or turn hard as stone only to crack and fall apart. These dark feelings are the death of soul that this fallen world brings upon us - either through our own actions, the actions of others or simply our Earthly condition. Just like it is necessary for all of us to die physically so that we might be brought back to life in a perfected form, it is necessary for us to die inwardly so Christ can bring us back to life more perfected then before.

This process makes sense when I write these words, but living it is another story. It is easy to be confident when looking back at a trial I've managed to get through and can now say "Oh it wasn't that bad, Christ was there the whole time. I just needed to hang in there."

Living what you know to be true when your heart just doesn't feel it is hard. At times my belief is so obvious, like feeling the sun on my skin it is a reality that changes how I feel about everything. Then there are times when my heart does not feel it - like I've been walking in a room that suddenly had all the lights go out. I cannot see the light or the furniture and I have no proof within myself other than the memories. It is then that my belief becomes a decision between what I am currently seeing and what I know is real from my past experiences.

These feelings of being dead inside are always temporary. Life comes through Christ - it always has been that way and it always will. If you do not believe me, try developing a real relationship with him. You will see how dead your life was before and will never be able to turn back without regret.

Alienate

Topics without scriptures: Agrippa; Ahab; Ahaz; Ahungered; Alcohol; Alexander; Alexandria.

In my life I have known some aliens. At one point half of the people in my group of friends were aliens. They were friendly and kind of different at times, but over all we got along great.

I am not talking about small green men from Mars, I am talking about people who were born outside of the U.S. and then came here. They had adopted the language and customs, but all of them seemed to hold onto this aspect of themselves that made them different as well. Strangely enough, two of the best friends in my life have been aliens.

I was ten years old and a family had just moved into our Church from Japan. They had a daughter my age and I decided to be friendly and bounded over to her to talk about this and that. She was quite and I thought really shy, so I tried harder to be friendly. I took her to all the classes that day and introduced her to everyone. Later I found out that this girl did not know any english and thought I must have been some crazy girl, but in a good sort of way.

Even though I was there, I wonder sometimes what it must have been like for her and my other immigrant friends. How they might have felt being surrounded by an language they did not know and customs that were not second nature. To have moments of triumph only to be thrown back into obscurity with the principle feeling in their hearts being that they do not belong.

In Ephesians 4:18 it says:

18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:

Though being alienated from those around you can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, being alienated from the life that God wants for you can be excruciating. It is painful to look in the mirror and see someone who you have no love for, but it can be heartbreaking to see someone that cannot feel God's loves. Not that God does not love you, but by turning away from him you are in a sense shielding yourself from that love.

Only a softening of heart and a conscious willingness to turn back to him can end the alienation. Some people say that Christ found them, but I say that what matters is what you do with Christ after he found you. In Colossians 1:21-22 it says what can happen if you choose to let Christ into your life:

21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled

22 In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

I am not saying that you will never have feelings of being alone, of feeling separated from God or that maybe you just do not fit into this whole religion thing, but instead of feeling like an outsider looking in you will instead feel like someone who does live in the "life of God" who is just having problems. Problems that will come and go, but not ones that will cast you out unless you choose to let them.

Agree

This is another topic that has interesting and less obvious scriptures that cover a range of concepts. The idea behind "agree" is pretty much the same in all the scriptures, that two or more people or ideas are aligned, but how this concept is used is where the diversity comes from.

For example, in Matthew 5:25 the Savior is using "agree" to give a practical commandment that also has spiritual implications:

25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Following this command can not only keep us out of trouble, but it also helps us develop peacemaker characteristics.

Even though most of the verses seemed not to have a theme, I noticed that two of them had to do with standing as a witness. Mark 14:56 speaks of people trying to prove something that was false but their witnesses did not agree. In the end their argument was thrown out. Why I believe this is interesting is because of the contrast it shows to 1 John 5:8:

8 And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.

There is truth out there and one way to recognize it is to see if the arguments or parts agree with each. I have heard some people say that when they found the LDS church it was like they had pieces of a puzzle that finally fell into place - they finally agreed with each other. That is how I feel about the gospel as well. There are parts of it that do not make the most sense to me but the parts that I do understand do not contradict each other. In all the chaos that life seems to give us, I find comfort in knowing that there is order and strength in the gospel.

Agony

Topics without scriptures: Agnosticism.

This past weekend I had an interesting experience. While pinning a curtain I somehow stabbed a nerve in my thumb. Instead of bleeding there was hardly a pin mark, but the results were excruciating. At first I could not move my thumb from the intense pain, and then my fingers, hand and finally my arm up to my shoulder. Not knowing what happened, the panic only added to the severity of the event. I have not cried that hard in years and for a good minute I was on the verge of passing out. The pain eventually numbed and then drew back and now two days latter there is only a faint memory of the event in my thumb.

Why I tell this story is because I would say that I was in agony. Tears were falling and falling into unconsciousness looked very good to me. When I read this verse in Luke 22:44 the memory of the pain came back to me and wondered how my Savior survived when I was willing to give up enduring the small amount of pain that was afflicted on me. The description of the event is as follows:

44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Footnotes will take you to Mosiah 3:7 and Doctrine and Covenants 19:18:

7And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

18Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

I've heard it said that he had to be born as part immortal so he could survive the agony of the atonement, so that he would not die before it was completed. I'm sure that this is not the only reason, but I cannot imagine what he had to go through. And he did it for us - he did it for me.

While reading through these sections and contemplating Christ's sacrifice, another another human limitation I have was brought to light, a limitation that I believe I can work on but will never be able to overcome in this life - my inability to really understand how Christ could love me that much.